I am sure it all starts because of the eyes. They aren't like mine. Or Mike's.
I was at H@rdee's with the 3 girls and Jack. Since we don't have a kitchen up and running at the moment, I had to feed them something. And, since the girls have never been to H@rdee's, I thought it was a decent choice, right on the way to the pool. We sat down to eat our lunch. An elderly lady about 75+ years old stopped by with her husband.
Lady: Can I take one of your girls home with me?
Me: No. I think I'll keep them all.
Lady pointing to Jack: What about him?
Me: He's staying with me, too.
At this point the lady is eying all my children rather closely, and I'm just wondering if she'll actually say it, or just leave, wondering why my girls look so different. I guess she felt comfortable in commenting.
Lady: Your husband must have brown eyes?
Me: Yes, he does. (Jordan is my only blond/blue)
Lady: But the girls' eyes are so dark, almost black.
Me: Yes, they are. (long pause since the lady is still waiting on an explanation) The girls are from China.
Lady: Oh. They are all so beautiful.
Then after some comments about how busy I must be, she was off. None of these questions really bother me at all. I know that some adoptive parents dislike them for various reasons. The only reason I dislike them, is that I feel that my biological children are just ignored. This particular lady did comment about Jack, but her focus was the girls. I understand that. But, sometimes I just cringe because of how my other 3 children may feel about stopping and explaining our family. I always try to change the focus when this happens, sometimes to no avail. I don't want my 3 oldest children to feel less special, if that makes sense. I don't want my 3 youngest girls raised up on some pedestal by other people. I often see that happen in the adoption community. I like a comment that Seth said to a friend after having Eva home a while. His friend asked him what it was like having a Chinese sister. Seth's comment was, "I don't look at her as Chinese. She's just my sister."
Welcome to my family blog. I have been married to Mike for over half of my life. I love my Savior, Jesus. I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom to six terrific, interesting children. My 3 oldest were born to me in my younger years, while my 3 youngest were given to me by God in my older years. I am very blessed. ~Cheri