Last month, Ivy was playing a game with a friend, Allison. Allison's mom told me that Ivy said something about wishing she knew her mom in China. Last week, I finally got around talking to her about it. It was hard. It was a conversation I expected to happen "later". I wasn't ready for it. We sat outside on the deck. She lay back on my chest as I wrapped my arms around her thin body. I told her all the things a good mom should tell her. I didn't know the reasons why her mom could not keep her. Her obvious cleft could have been the lone reason. She was not ready to hear or understand China's one-child policy and the consequences of being a girl in a boy-favored society. Her cleft made my answer easier.
I told her how special it was to be a mom; I'm sure it was very difficult for her China mom to say good-bye to her beautiful baby girl. I don't think I could have been so selfless. I told Ivy it was okay to wonder about her mom in China; that she could love both of us. So, for about 20 minutes she lay still, silently crying. I talked about how even though bad things happen, God can make something beautiful from it. He has made something beautiful from all the sadness.
I asked her if she had the opportunity to meet her China mom, would she? She responded, "I don't know." I cannot imagine the thoughts and range of emotions going on in that beautiful mind. After some more hugs and kisses, she moved on. She is a very sweet girl, full of emotions.
I'm sure we will have many more conversations about China moms around our house. I pray for the wisdom to help each of my girls understand their worth and place in this life; this wonderful life!