12 Days

I have 12 days left with my son.  It seems so strange to think that after that, I will not see him for a whole season.  It is so strange for me to think that he will leave his home before summer begins and will not be finished with basic training until fall arrives.  I cannot fathom the rigorous training he will receive during those 13 weeks.

He is ready.  He is excited.  He is ready to move on with his life and become an adult; to become independent.

(Yes, this is Seth and Eva shortly after our return home from China in 2006)

And because he is ready...

...I am ready.  It makes things so much easier when your child is excited about his future.  Yes, it is going to be hard on this mom, but I have to remind myself that this is why we raise our children; to be responsible adults.  They aren't meant to live with me their entire lives, although at times I would prefer that (and times I would not).

From my previous posts, it is a known fact that Seth has had some difficult years in his short life.  He doesn't mind me sharing those things on my blog because he is so thankful for the "Giver of second chances".  From the time I found out I was pregnant with Seth, I worried about him.  Why?  Was it because of the loss of my 2 daughters before him?  Was it because God gave me a hint of the difficult years ahead of me?  It doesn't really matter.  Two weeks into my pregnancy, I thought I was miscarrying.  Contractions started at 17 weeks gestation, bed rest until 32 weeks.  After he was born, he would only sleep soundly in my arms.  That made for a very delirious mom.  ER visits, glued head, shattered bones were the norm with Seth.  It was just "in him".  I had to learn to let him go and be a boy, doing boy stuff.  I had to walk away when he climbed trees of dizzying heights, jumped off the house, or scaled the barn.  I couldn't control him or make him safe.  No amount of coercing from mom could quench his need to push beyond his limits.  I learned to trust my children to God by being Seth's mom.

As he got older, I learned to trust God for so much more than his physical safety.  I had to trust Him for his spiritual safety.  No boundary could contain him; no discipline could control him.  Only by prayer and fasting would his heart be changed.  And his heart was changed.  It took a big fall, but it happened.  Sadly, I had to see it all, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

 
So, again, with another step in Seth's life, I'm trusting God in a big way.  I would not have chosen the path of a Marine for my son, but it is his path to choose.  I'm here to pray and cheer him on as his biggest fan.