Accidental Adoption

I started this particular blog when we decided to pursue Ivy's adoption.  This post explains how we got there, but without the details.  I thought I might share some of those details with you.

When we returned home from China without Maggie, our hearts were so broken.  While in China, we both said, "Never again will we adopt."  The pain was so fresh and raw.  After about a month, when I could see more clearly, I began to wonder if that was such a rash decision, never adopting again.  Maybe there was a child for us.  I spoke with our great agency director, Lillian.  Our dossier was still in China, waiting.  Lillian recommended that we write CC double A a letter explaining what occurred and either requesting a new referral, or releasing our file.  I told Mike, "We either write a letter explaining our situation and be done, or we write a letter explaining what happened and humbly request another referral."  Mike's reply was, "Go ahead and write the letter."  So, how many moms out there would assume that it meant "write a letter and request a new referral"?  That is what I thought.  I was excited, yet fearful.  I wrote the letter the next day and went to Mike asking for him to read it and sign it.  Mike said, "I trust you", and signed the letter, never knowing that I requested another referral.

About a month past and we had not heard from CC double A.  Mike and I were talking about it all, and he said to me, "I don't even know if I want to adopt again."  What?!  I just sent a letter to China asking for another referral!  Mike said, "I didn't say that I wanted another referral."  Well, that is exactly the way I took it!  What do we do now?  I don't want my agency to be in hot water over asking for a referral, then declining a referral.  After many tears and discussion Mike said, "Let's just wait and see what happens."

You see, I'd never, ever do something without Mike's knowledge or approval.  I truly believed that he meant to ask for another referral.  I had no idea he was still undecided.  After all, it had been a couple of months since returning home without Maggie.  After that, I really started praying hard for God's direction.  I was confused about it all and wondered why Mike did not feel anything one way or another.  So, I asked God to show me many things.  For example, "Does God speak to the wife and not the husband ever?"  After asking that question, I came to the scriptures about Hannah and Samuel.  After Samuel's birth, Hannah's husband was making his trip with his family for the yearly sacrifice to the temple.  Hannah said that she'd not return with Samuel until after he was weaned.  Her husband replied that that was between Hannah and the Lord.  So, God did not speak to Hannah's husband about that, but to Hannah directly.  It was also brought to my mind about Mary, how the angel came to Mary and told her about the birth of her son, Jesus.  Then I came across this post from another blogger who loves the Lord.  I just sobbed when I read it.  She posted it the day after I asked the Lord to show me something.  I was so grateful and thankful that yes, God does speak to the wife.

After I shared it all with Mike, crying, his sweet reply was, "It sounds like God is talking to you.  Maybe I'm being scared and selfish about adopting again, and God is trying to get that out of me."  I, too, was scared and selfish, but ready for God to show us the way.  So, technically, it was by "accident" that we came to adopt Ivy.  But, I know that there are no mistakes.  There is a reason and purpose for everything.  We may not see it right away, but I know to trust our God.

Just a few weeks later, I opened my email and saw this sweet face looking back at me.

And here is a recent photo of the gang minus Jordan, who could not make the trip when we visited my mom last week.