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Welcome to my family blog. I have been married to Mike for over half of my life. I love my Savior, Jesus. I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom to six terrific, interesting children. My 3 oldest were born to me in my younger years, while my 3 youngest were given to me by God in my older years. I am very blessed. ~Cheri

9.20.2010

"Be Honest With Me..."

..."is it hard to love your three girls like your own?" asked an acquaintance last week.  I have to admit that a million thoughts ran through my mind in the 10 seconds it took for me to answer her.  I thought about the day my first adopted daughter was placed into my arms.  When we looked into each others' eyes, I was looking at a stranger.  She did not look like my other children.  She smelled, had snot dripping all over the place and dirt in crevices not meant to see dirt.  But, they said she was mine.


Then, a year later, I was given Joy with strange behaviors caused by her life in an orphanage.  Joy, the one who cried that first week whenever you moved her, the one our whole family thought had lifetime disabilities.  But, again, she was mine.


Then came the biggie in 2010, adopting a 7 year old.  How can I love this older child who obviously does not want anything to do with me?  She screamed and ran when it was time to leave the Civil Affairs office.  She tried bolting out the door of the hotel room when the orphanage worker left us.  She moaned like a caged animal that first day.  How could I love her like my own when she is already 7 years old and molded by other people?  When the workers asked if she wanted me to be her mother she did not reply.  She did not want to be my daughter, so how could I love her?  Again, they told me she was mine.


Then all the memories came to my mind, and I held them in my heart.  There were many tears from both mother and daughters.  There was/is so much guidance, correction, encouragement, love, discipline, hugs, kisses, cuddles, just like I give "my own".  So, I replied to the lady, "They are my own and no, it is not hard to love them like 'my own'".  Every last one of them.


10 kind words:

Serving the King

That was beautiful, just beautiful! Sniff-sob-cry-cry. Blessings friend, thank you for sharing that!

Learning Together at Home

You said it just right. Thanks Cheri.

Wendy in OH

I often get the question "do you have any kids of your own" when I am out with Abigail. I immediately state that she IS my own and the embarrassed person says "oh you know what I mean". No, I don't. With every fiber of my being, she is mine. I loved your post.

Football and Fried Rice

oh. you are so right. There are those "seconds" when you can't believe that you've just become a parent the way that you have. And then the rushing feelings of "this is just how it's supposed to be."

i think you said it perfect. and how amazing is it that God equips us to love those that He called us to graft in. And how blessed we are - cause we are adopted & loved by HIM.

Eva

Well said.

It's unfortunate that those outside the adoption community still view us adoptive parents as raising somebody else's child. They are our own, period. Even if our starts are sometimes rocky, and it may not be what we pictured. God has given them to us. And as Sara said so well, He equips us... to meet them where they are at and love them as our own.

LedaP

We're headed to China to adopt a 9 yo, and I just wanted to say I love this post. So true.

Mike and Barb

Beautiful!
The beauty is that LOVING them is not always about emotion, but committment. Sometimes is more one than the other, either way. I think that's the biggest lesson I have learned about loving my adopted child.
Barb

The Raudenbush Family

Can I repost this on www.wearegraftedin.com? It would be perfect there. Take a look at the site and let me know!
Kelly
Kelly@wearegraftedin.com

The Kings

I love your response! Perfect!!

Anonymous

Wow all I can say is that you are a great writer! Where can I contact you if I want to hire you?

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