A Quarter of a Century

I married a sailor 25 years ago in March.  He was young, handsome, kind.  He wasn't perfect, but his mother and father did a great job raising him.  We met in September; married in March.  It was a whirlwind 5 1/2 months courtship.  He was home for a few weeks, out to sea for a couple of weeks.  I could barely contain myself when I knew his ship was pulling into port on a certain day.  I hovered by my phone at work, waiting to hear his voice greet me on the other end.  On date night, I'd peek out my apartment window looking for the familiar round headlights from his jeep.  Butterflies never failed to follow.

He never really asked me to marry him.  It was more of a mutual agreement during a phone call from a port in Puerto Rico.  I didn't know if he was serious, but soon found out when he was once again home, and we were purchasing the rings.  It was a quick wedding at his apartment.  His sailor roommates had long since moved out, and I moved in just a few days before the big day.  Except for our close friends, no one knew of our plans to marry.  He arrived home on a Wednesday, we married on a Thursday, he left on a Monday.

It wasn't hard being married to a sailor.  I found it rather exciting.  Our time together was limited, so we wasted no time on petty arguments.  I just loved being with him every second he was home.  Life was good.

Now it is 25 years later.  Five jobs later.  Three children later.  Four lost children later.  Four houses later.  Three adoptions later.  Many sorrows later.  Many joys later.  Many mistakes later.  I'm sure we both have many regrets.  How could we not?  But, I love my sailor.  And my sailor loves me.

I always wondered how we would celebrate 25 years together.  I'm still wondering.  We're too poor for my wish of spending 2 weeks on a South Pacific Island.  Yet, I feel the need to be alone with my husband.  To reconnect.  To talk.  To just have fun together without concern for our children.  We've spent so many years being "mom and dad" that we've unconsciously neglected being "husband and wife".